You So Ugly…

Every time I turn on the TV these days, I see countless ads for beauty products for men and women. I think we all know the reason is because it sells. And why does it sell? That’s right… Nobody likes ugly. According to the old folks, even “God don’t like ugly!”


Enter Vanderbilt Head football coach James Franklin. He doesn’t like ugly either.

Earlier this week the coach was the subject of an interview on 3HL, an afternoon sports talk show on 104.5 The Zone in Nashville, TN. He said some things that were probably meant to be tounge-in-cheek, but also probably had a hint of truth in there as well.

Jimmy Frank’s statements:

“I’ve been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant coach until I’ve seen his wife. If she looks the part, and she’s a D-1 recruit, then you got a chance to get hired. That’s part of the deal.”

Followed by…

“There’s a very strong correlation between having the confidence, going up and talking to a woman, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being fun and articulate, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him.”

Probably all true stuff there. Like it or not.

These statements rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. And by “a lot of people”, I mean “ugly ones”. Yeah. I said it. Ugly… and probably fat.

I didn’t make the rules on who is or isn’t physically beautiful. I contend that there are more people who are universally ugly than the reverse, though. Somebody said, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” ,and that person was right. They failed to tell everybody the other side of it, though. Everybody knows ugly when they see it. Everybody. Who do you know who wants to be ugly?


Mister wouldn't be hired at Vandy

The truth of the matter is, the more attractive someone is, 73.7% of the time, the easier time they’ll have in life. I know you’ve seen at least one of the Shrek movies. He’s ugly. You remember how hard it was for him? The whole story is based on the principle that ugy stick with ugly. Tell me I’m lying. Shrek is a really good dude, but nobody takes the time to know that, because his “inner beauty” is wrapped-up in a big, green, ugly-assed ogre face. The movies suggest that the only way for him to be happy, is to find a girl who is as physically hideous as he is. Right? This is how it is in real life.

So, people shouldn’t be too bent out of shape about Jimmy Frank’s comments, nor should they be shocked. His would-be hiring practice is done every day. Remember that time you had an ugly hostess at a restaurant? Yeah, me neither. People don’t want a Susan Boyle being the first face customers see upon entry into their restaurant, do they? None of us were there to see her, but I’m guessing even Mary Magdalene was fine. Remember? God don’t like ugly, so I’m sure even JESUS wasn’t running around with an ugly ho.

In closing…

This isn’t coming from one of the “Beautiful People”. I ain’t ever been mistaken for Denzel before, so I know how it is. You just have to deal, and I do. People generally are shallow. Especially dudes. So it’s easier for us to get by with not being as attractive as our female counterparts have to be. Also, money is “sexy” to some girls, so it doesn’t matter how we look to those women. That explains my hearing Dennis Rodman or Jay Z being referred to as “hot”. BUT, a lot of girls actually do look past the outer-shell, and try to see what’s on the inside… (See picture below)


Women have it WAY harder. They’re judged on a whole different scale. I mentioned Susan Boyle earlier. She is one of few people whose ugliness actually HELPED her. 94.6% of her appeal is how amazed people are that such an angelic voice, could come out the face of a gargoyle. image

You know it’s true. So, with that being said, how many dudes you think are lined-up to wife that? 0. How many want to smash? -36 do. That’s how many.

So don’t be mad at Jimmy Frank. Be mad at yourself, because you do the same amount of judging people based on looks, as everybody else does. It’s human nature.

4 responses to “You So Ugly…

  1. I’m not against ugly people but what really throws me are ugly people who are mean. I feel like telling them to reevaluate themselves because otherwise theyve got nothing going for them.

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